Gradually I am starting to realize I am always scared. Even though I can pretend to interact normally with people, behind it there is a systemic muscular patter of anxiety. Most of the time when I am driving my head is nowhere near the headrest. If I attempt to sit straight, I can force the issue, but it does not feel comfortable. Just recently I have been able to partially interrupt my usual flexion pattern and felt my head resting against the head rest. I wasn't trying to sit up but to relax and inhibit my anxiety patter especially around the upper chest clavicle and sternum. Again, it is not something I can maintain because as soon as I stop paying attention to it, I reactivate my normal way of being
