Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Get Lost

Recently visited the Lost Coast Brewery  with my wife and went on the tour. The hostess did a great job and in the tasting room we both took home a tasting glass with inscription on one side that said "Get Lost".

Can I see reality?

So imagine you have two kinds of creatures living in an environment. The first is tuned to respond directly to objective reality — the actual independent reality out there. The other creature has behavior only tuned to its, and the environment's, fitness function. The second creature couldn't care less about what's really going on in reality. What Hoffman's theorem says is the fitness-tuned critter will — almost always — win the evolution game.

Only if I am lost? Hopefully it's just a rhetorical question.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Stabilization versus movement complexity

If I am correct that I see the 'persona' in the right half of someone else's face and that is what I posturally adjust too, is there a blocking of movements on the left side of my face? As mentioned in the previous post I am feeling strong sensations (small in size, spastic, but forceful) in areas where I am surprised to feel anything but skull bones. In my movement picture of myself these areas are not suppose to move. Going back to the Feldenkrais idea of how we try to limit the complexity of a movement by stabilizing one region to allow a different region to gain more control feels like what I am finding in my head movements. By focusing on the right half of someone else face (presumably as they focused on my right side) movements on my left half were stabilized to facilitate the complex movements on on the right side.

Even though I am trying to facilitate movements in the left side they often feel unpleasant, not right, and much more involved than what I am attempting.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Deciphering the bones

A couple of weeks ago I was in a mall and I noticed a man coming towards us in a 'hemi' wheelchair propelling with the left foot only while holding a phone in the left hand. The right hand was in his lap and the the right foot was on the foot rest.  (Typical of right hemiplegia and left CVA). As he came toward me I was interested in seeing if he acknowledged me with the left side of face and how I would react. His smile was definitely left sided but more interesting was my reaction. Even though I was trying to connect to his left side with my left side, mid stream I switched to my usual and tried to connect with his right side. I realized it and had to try and re-establish the left side contact which took a good deal of mental effort and a second or two.  It felt like the habit of seeing the 'persona' in the right side of someone's face took over and I had to verify what I was seeing on the left. However the right side of his face was very stroke impaired. So I was left hanging in no man's land for short period of time and I assume the man in the wheelchair got a mix message from me.

A side issue which seems to be happening as I am trying to work with my left tongue (which still is remarkably undefined in movement) is that it almost feels like I am moving the bones of my face mainly on the left but some on the right. Areas in which I seem to expect no movement are being pulled very forcibly. Again even though the movements are very small the amount of force seems to be quite large and the areas activated are often quite distant from the focus of the 'left tongue'

Monday, July 4, 2016

Coordinated mimimicking

It's becoming more apparent that elements of the left side (head, face, throat and tongue) are not used in isolation but rather in coordination with other elements on the left side in left sided initiation and control. I thought I would be able to isolate elements of the left side and gain control but it feels much bigger. It is interesting to find elements of the left side in coordinated action when I am trying to only gain some further control of one element.

A similar process is in my ability the persona in the left side of someone's head. In my normal viewing of someone I see the persona as right sided and I mimic that side without thought in my normal attempt to read the persona. Most often the left side of others has less to read and mimic but still has a great deal for me to see and reflect in myself. So when I react to the left side the whole of my left side has to react in a coordinated way to mimic what is seen.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Temple of pain

Quite a bit of pain last night. I start playing with trying to accentuate the feeling of the left tongue/throat and it gradually takes over the whole use of the head. Much of the pain was centered in the right temple but the sensation of tautness is more sublingual left.  I don't have a good explanation for the pain but it does feel like I am doing things against the normal use of the musculature and fascia. A couple of ibuprofen made a big difference.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Zygomatic process?

Still playing with the idea and feelings of the trying to develop the left tongue. I am finding some movement to my surprise much higher than what I would suspect to find it. It almost feels like I am moving in my where my mental image is of my lower left sinus extending forward to my zygomatic bone. The movements are again small, poorly controlled but feel very strong.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Natural left botox

I have not posted in awhile. Just read this article today on how by using botox it may limit our emotional range. Again I think I never really saw the left half of peoples faces and was unable to mimic the emotions seen in the left half of face(right visual field) but used my right eye to connect with their right eye(left visual field). I now feel I saw the other person as right sided and related to their right side.

I am now able to use my left side of head in a different way than I have been able to previously in my life. The movements have a global left side initiation, are very strong, but still limited in control. I often can see a 'persona' expressed in the left side of someone else's face. It is still not my natural habitual way of seeing and communicating,but I keep getting a slow enlargement of my left movement capabilities.

Quote from article

Baumeister's intuition stems from a very well-known scientific theory, called embodiment. The idea is that the processing of emotional information, such as facial expressions, in part involves reproducing the same emotions on our own bodies. In other words, when we observe a smile, our face too tends to smile (often in an imperceptible and automatic fashion) as we try to make sense of that expression. However, if our facial muscles are paralyzed by Botox, then the process of understanding someone else's emotion expression may turn out to be more difficult.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Strongly Left

Just a quick note. In my continuing attempts to differentiate my left tongue in movement I am getting more and more of strong sublingual tongue musculature control. Small movements in this region have dramatic influence on the head/face/jaw control.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016


Been a real struggle in an attempt to write anything worthwhile for the past month. Still working on differentiating the left half of my head/tongue/sublingual region in movement from the right side.
It feels that it is getting slightly larger, but no dramatic breakthroughs.

Interesting link on the importance of Peekaboo

Another below on horses

The horses tended to look at the angry faces out of their left eye—a response well-documented in horses and in dogs, indicating that an animal is engaging the right hemisphere of its brain where novel and fear-provoking stimuli are processed. The horses’ heart rates also rose more quickly when they were presented with the angry face. Being able to tell a smiling handler from an angry one is a useful skill for a domestic horse—being approached by a frown rarely results in happy consequences.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Seeing is believing

I have been planning on writing a post now for a couple of weeks but ran into a bit of a block and since I am easily diverted I have been following my twitter account (embarrassingly small) and posting on an economics blog that I follow.  I very rarely post anything to do with economics in the proper sense just the occasional link to other's thoughts. I do post on a wide variety of things that I find interesting or informative. Ran across this link today. Just did the first couple of pages and I get the point that my visual sense is easily deceived. That is sort of the direction I want to take my next post but I do not feel ready. I am reading a fun book by Oliver Sachs, Seeing Voices.  I wanted to finish it first but need to get back to it.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Throne thoughts

Found a link to this article on humans being the only animal with a chin. It goes into an evolutionary argument on why it developed. It seems obvious why, because how could we think on the throne without it. In my awareness exercise about differentiating the head and jaw I found that that I use the sublingual musculature differently on the left and right side of the midline. It feels to me the my left side musculature normal posture is more contracted to give the right more freedom and control. In fact in terms of felt initiated movement the left side did not exist but instead reacts subordinately to the right side initiated movement.

To generate melodious sound on the left it feels that I need to be able to allow the left side to vibrate or relax and contract rapidly.  In playing with this area I have difficulty in getting the musculature to relax and lengthen. It affects the position of the mandible on the left as compared to the right. It is still developing but in lengthening of the left sublingual musculature the left mandible seems to extend more forward. The angle of the jaw on the left also relaxes and come forwards in response. This then seems to influence the left lateral and then the left posterior musculature of the neck. So in order to use the left sublingual musculature in a differentiated way I find there is a global change of use of the head.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Golf, great escapes, and magic tricks

Golf is such a useless enterprise that I wonder about it's fascination. There have been many books written about the attraction and  it's lore. The game has it's own rituals and customs that can get you banned from many a private course and the from public course at least a reprimand. It's expensive and time consuming. It surely is a waste of scarce natural resources on expensive lawn care. It's very frustrating with one moment hitting a great escape shot from an impossible position and the next whiffing on a beautiful lie.

One thing it does provide me with is a fertile ground for playing with the differences in my left and right side, even if it has not improved my bogey filled game.  I can put my attention in my left hand and swing the club only thinking of it. In a way the right disappears as I actively concentrate on my left arm's position throughout the swing. My normal however is for my right hand and arm to dominate as I get caught up in the game and the left disappears. Much like a magic trick I actively suppress what I am not paying attention to.

Research suggests these enhancement and suppression processes are mediated by two different populations of neurons in the visual cortex – the area at the back of the brain that processes visual information.

 Even though that is suggests that it is only the visual cortex that operates this way in the article, I think that a similar process happens in my speech and communication. I only have perception of the right tongue/sublingual/ throat/ and facial muscles to respond to the speaking communicating task appropriately and the left suppressed disappears. I have spent a lifetime at it so now the left is very difficult to 'find' and initiate movement in these regions.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Left Initiation System

Still playing with trying to develop a sense of a left tongue as separate entity than the right tongue but have been unsuccessful. What is showing up is much different use of the left side of my head. What I find to be the most interesting is that I don't feel to be moving different pieces of the head individually but a system wide use of the head that feels to be left initiated. The movements are mostly tiny, poorly controlled but feel very strong.

One salient point that comes out of the movement awareness work is that I often have found that I do not move in the way that I believe I move.  I'm full of 'parasitic' movements or activations of my musculature that interfere with what I am trying to do. In trying to learn how in my youthful development, I stumbled on a good enough solution and habitualized that pattern.  However,  I have found even though I may discovered a parasitic movement it does not mean I have found a system wide way of bettering the action. Which leads me to continue the old pattern of movement simply due to the demands of getting things done.

So the movements are interesting even though the 'left' tongue as a separate perceived moving entity remains out of reach.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Manly communication

Saw a recent story that Apple was buying a facial emotional reading company.  I am sure they are aware to a much greater degree than I am of the differences in the sides of face. On the home page of Emotient there is (for now at least) twelve picture of a gal expressing different emotions. Looking at most of them I find the left side to be less expressive than her right side.  However here is a picture where if find the left side of a face to be more expressive and probably accurate of the way I believe the person is feeling. 

Almost like the right side expresses what he is trying to communicate (this is a bad idea) the left a more undisguised enmity.  I don't know if I blocked out the left side of face because I did not want to see the raw emotion or that I found the right side to be a more accurate communicative device of what the person was trying to communicate. I lean to the latter, but as a male there was an unwritten rule when I was young when we were drinking beer and sharing our deepest innermost emotions that we never looked at the others face.  In a way to let the other guy have room to not be put down for showing weakness or something not manly. The raw anger in Mr. Cheney's face is definitely manly, but I wonder if to see it is in a way to provoke more anger.

In communication men tend to sit other side-by-side next to each or stand at some distance. Women sit face-to-face with other women or stand closer, indicating a more open and intimate position that help them connect with one another. For men, a face-to-face position indicates challenge or confrontation.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Na, Na said the gutted fish

I recently resumed my twitter account. It was inactive for about five years after the time I was looking heavily at the housing bubble and the economy that led up to it. There was an old speech by one of the Fed officials back in the 50's who was dissenting about leaving the common guy as a gutted fish. That's the reason for the name.  Through the recent activity at Twitter I found this site. Two tweets caught my attention today. I think I will adopt the "Natural Philosopher" label in the future as I am sure not a scientist. (Left tongue firmly in cheek)

The joke on sodium reminds me of my wife's continuing saga.  We're having difficulty getting her DDAVP in her plan and had to spend $750 to get about 25 day supply.  Tried to get a message to her doc just to let her know and  had to run a gauntlet with the medical 'provider' on the phone. We pay about 20k to have the family plan so it does not feel right to shell out more. However my wife's cost probably exceeds the 20K to the system easily.

  1. The word "scientist" did not exist before 1833. Before this, scientists were referred to as "natural philosophers."

  2. Do we know any jokes about sodium? Na.

Friday, January 15, 2016

The global movement to the left

At various points in my life I have tried to play with reversing my usual ability to wink with either eye. It was always easy for me to close the left and open the right. With some perseverance in the past, I managed to do both which is admitted trivial accomplishment. What is showing up in the use left side of head is that it is a global coordination which is different.  There is a strong feeling of all the musculature on the left side stretching first and then the ability to contract and relax in the small new range achieved in the initial stretch. There are echoes of the feeling all the way down my left side including the left side of my pelvis. Again the strength of the movements internally feel to be quite strong but externally are quite small.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Visual Conformation

Read about the Robber's Cave Experiment in The Evolution of Childhood. As a lay person it reminded me of Zimbardo's Stanford Prison Experiment. Being part of a group and conforming to it seems to an almost essential priority of who we are. When I try to initiate movement on the left side of my face I also attempt to stabilize the right side, I often get very annoying reactions from my wife when she sees my face. A large part of it is just our baggage but her reaction at times seems too visceral and immediate to be just that.  It feels like our visual communication code is being violated and she is letting me know.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016


After doing the exercises pioneered by Moshe Feldenkrais for many years I became aware that I was not aware of what my left sublingual musculature/tongue were doing in all activities. There was a discrepancy on how I used the left and right regions.  The right side seems to be dominant and how I perceive the movement.  The left side is unperceived and subordinate in movement. The confusing factor is that I can feel or sense pain or sensation in the left regions.

What seems to be developing now is a left side originator of movement in the sub-lingual and jaw musculature. However the tongue itself still seems to be the same or older picture. I  do not have an explanation for it. It often feels different when I try to initiate movement in what I feel to be the left tongue but when I check it back against the older picture there is a major discrepancy in the location of what I think I am doing.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Bowie's eyes

I see his right eye first. I don't know if I would have ever noticed his left eye years ago.

Bowie's eye's

Favorite song

Plenty of facial close ups in the youtube video.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Left side initiated breathing or the largely futile pursuit of the minutiae

I feel I could not differentiate my left and right tongue in movement after doing exercises based on my study of the work of Moshe Feldenkrais. I don't think anyone else has come to my conclusion in members who follow his work. I can move my tongue very normally and it does not deviate to one side or the other. However my perception is the movement image is one sided or right directed (presumably left hemisphere).

I have developed some partial control of my left sublingual musculature but the left tongue itself still is largely unperceived. Which obviously would suggest that I am wrong about my basic premise. However in my search for the left tongue I am increasingly getting a different use of the left side of my head than normal.

Recently I have been trying to breathe in left side initiated patten. The interior musculature and structure on my left throat/sublingual/hyoid region feels very tight and constricted compared to my normal of what I feel to be right sided (left hemisphere) controlled. The two images are separate and do not feel to be the same thing. When I switch to my normal there is a slight sense of tightening on the left but in a subordinate way to the much bigger of what I sense of my throat. When I try to breathe with the left side initiated there is mostly a sense of tightness on both sides with what feels to be very tiny movements to an outside viewer but immensely strong but with a spastic internal feel in my left throat region.

I have not found any real benefit to what I am trying to do. There does seem to at times to a slight increase in my ability of not doing in how I normally organize my lower back (keeping the left side loaded to free up the right) but nothing very specific.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Right Hand Left Hand

Finished reading Right Hand Left Hand.  It is a great book to read if interested in the functional difference of the left and right side in ourselves.

Things I took away.
  1. Asymmetry is important and probably beneficial.
  2. The cause is probably genetic
  3. There is a functional component that impacts the genetic origins.  
Things not addressed or are still unresolved in my mind.
  1. Does not mention the ability to differentiate in movement the left and right side,or the dominant side has the ability in the axial skeleton to initiate movement in both sides.
  2. Often mentions the pseudoneglect of the right visual field but does not go into if two people are interacting (in the frontal plane) they are neglecting the left half of face of each other and concentrating on each other's right half of face(left visual field).
  3. If the right cerebral hemisphere can take over the speech center with an injury to the speech centers in the left cerebral hemisphere at an early age then what is the mechanism? and or can it be activated at a later age?
  4. Can it be activated without an injury to the left speech centers?

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Chimeric images

Looking at the image pasted here I can't help but see the face on the right as the happier face. I see in my normal interactions the right half of the person's face as what is telling me what is going on. The right half of face happens to be in my left visual field and my right eye has to cross my midline to connect with their right eye. When I look at the linked image on the left I see a sad face on it's right side (my left visual field).  If I attempt to reverse the process and put my attention in my left eye and cross the visual field to see the persona in their left face (my right visual field) I feel there is a postural adjustment that I make to relate to that person.

My tendency in myself that I have noticed over time is that I express my emotions and have better muscular control with my right half of face. (for example eyebrow movement). It is also my usual way to read another's face.  The term for seeing the right half of another person's face (left visual field) is pseudoneglect and is common for the majority of people. (approx 75%).

PS Somehow I really screwed up my left and right on the first go

ps cool cat

Monday, January 4, 2016

Left neglected

Been reading this fascinating book.  It is going slower than I expected, but he gives me a great deal to think about.

I was reading some today when I snuck out to Paris Baguette to grab my favorite raisin roll and coffee while my wife was undergoing self torture in her sister's Pilates class. My attention was caught by a young girl who looked as young as one and a half but appeared functionally older. She was playing with her cup, half filled with water, and holding various utensils in either hand. She broke apart a piece of fruit placed it in the cup, then fished it out with her fork in her right hand while stabilizing the cup with her left hand. It was the stabilizing of the cup that sort of got my attention. It is a very important job otherwise the cup will fall over.

I imagine the girl was in her mind ignoring the left hand and concentrating on the fishing out technique with the fork in the right hand. It reminds me of this study The girl was doing quite a few marvelous play experiments while her young Mom was intently texting on the phone. Hopefully, the mom interacts with her child in a more nurturing way most of the time.

But, I should talk. I was a great one for ploppin my kid down in front of the VCR.