Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Left unseen

I have been playing with the left tongue/throat/side of head as usual and I am trying to account for why I had no sense of this musculature moving in the way it does now.  It appears that I never developed independent action of my left side muscles. I could use them only in relationship to the right side dominated activity. Using my left eye to  focus on the left eye of others is beginning to allow me to see the persona of someone else as existing in the left side of their head. Most of the time the right side of others seems to be the more expressive side and it is hard for me to maintain my left eye to eye contact as my usual sense is to search for the greater feedback and nonverbal communication muscular actions. By putting my attention in my left eye and having it cross the midline of other's head  (the opposite of my usual habit) seems to put my left eye in charge and provokes the response of my trying to mimic what I see. The mimicking seems to happen at level on the borderline of my awareness and I get the feel I am getting more information than I consciously recognize.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Centering with the left eye to left eye

I am studying other's left eye face with my attention in my left eye often. It is the easiest to do on the tube but there feels to be a difference in real life. I seem to be captured by my habitual more in the day to day interactions while on TV I can do my own thingy and not be involved in an interaction. My left tongue/sublingual/throat musculature has a strong connection to my left eye. When my left eye 'centers' on the left eye of who I am watching there is a vivid sense that my left tongue/subl/throat muscles are being pulled along with the eye motion. There is a feeling of tension that extends to a large portion of my left side. I am trying at times to move inside that framework with simple things like turning my head back and forth.  It is quite easy to come out of it and do the usual right side dominated movement however I think the movement is on occasion left side dominant when I can manintain left eye/subl/throat feeling.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Don't necrotising me, Bro!

Our daughter was in a public school kindergarten and we both worked so she would go to the day care on school property after class. I got a call from the school one day with the lead off from the administrator "If you are going to take your daughter out of school you need to tell us." I said "What" and proceeded to break all traffic rules getting to school as fast as possible as neither of us picked up our daughter early. She was there safe and sound and first she thing said was "They did not 'necrotise' me" (recognize me).

My usual habit is to see the persona existing in the right eye/face of the person I am talking to. It is often hard for me while attending to my left eye to recognize the persona in the left eye/face. I may be looking at the left eye but my brain needs to perform some of it's magic before I 'necrotise' the persona.

Attending to my left eye does not seem to be different than attending to one's left hand if playing a instrument. It is fairly easy to do but I have found I often am not doing what I think I am doing with regards to movement.  Moshe Feldenkrais created a bunch of exercises that were suppose to enhance awareness while doing movements. The major awareness I came away with is that I am not very aware of how I move. I have spent far more time than most breaking down some very elemental moves but continue to see others move with far more grace, elegance, and power than myself. I do feel my pattern of communicating with left tongue/lips/sublingual muscles/throat is something different and it does change my usual habit of use and posture in the face skull and spine with some change being felt as far as the pelvis. It is a combination of differentiating between the left and right musculature of eye and face and seeing the perona existing in the left eye/face of others that seems to be the most productive at enhancing the change. There is also some benefit by attending to the sound of my voice being generated in left throat and sublingual muscles. It is still by far and away not something I can do easily and the movements often feel spastic like moving against a strong resistance.