Sunday, December 30, 2012

My voice is more than tongue and vocal cords

It feels like it is the jaw, throat , eyes, face, spine, ribs,etc

To talk with the left tongue seems to mean I have to use the whole left side in a different way to communicate effectively. Using the left side different feels to mean the right side has to give up it's position of advantage.

Just tried to smile on the left side of my face only with the right eye shut. I did not realize but I was smiling on the right side only for three times before I became aware of what I was doing.

The exact opposite of what I intended.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Left tongue tied behind my back

I have been closing the right eye, listening only with left ear, trying to imagine the words right to left, while watching Nat sing, studying the left side of his face, and trying to mouth the words with the left tongue.  The back of the left tongue feels on the cusp of joining the party. I think it is where the styloglossus attaches to the tongue and for many sounds I imagine it has to relax and lengthen to sound left (right). I don't feel there is a good differentiation between my jaw and tongue on the left rear side at present.



Doing the above creates a tension on both side of the lower jaw. It is like I am fighting an existing tension to allow for a different use of tongue and jaw musculature. Almost like I go through life with the left tongue tied behind my back.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Walking and left trunk

I have spent many years in the movement awareness thingy. I have gone down more than a few dead ends. Today, I went for a walk with my wife and my left trunk had a different engaged more erect positive kind of feel. It was not something I was attempting to do.


Tenderly with Nat and Oscar Peterson

Beautiful song and piano. Trying to mouth the song using my left tongue in a gentle (tenderly) manner with the words running right to left in my head

Left eye left tongue

Even though I am reading right to left I don't think that I am using the left eye in a dominant way.  It feels almost like it does not know how to see the letters and understand it. In a way it defers to the right. I am aware that each half of the eye sends messages to it's corresponding cerebral hemisphere and half to it's opposite. I do not think I coordinate the eyes equally however.  I don't think I am one of the people with true depth perception but instead use clues from the environment to establish distance. When I look at the moon at night I often see two outlines slightly apart from each other.

The musculature under the left tongue seems to get a great deal of cues from the left eye. I am working with trying to feel the left eye and tongue moving in the same directions and then opposite directions

Monday, December 24, 2012

Talking to myself

Thinking about Dr Wigans book.

The Duality of the Mind

He argues that is good for one hemisphere to be dominant in order to progress through life in a structured way. My feeling is that I need more symmetry. I wonder when I do my negative talk to myself is it my left cerebral hemisphere (right body) talking to my right cerebral hemisphere (left body) and telling it how fucked up it is. My right hemisphere not being able to respond in words is not able to say relax, take it easy, live , enjoy life and others. It takes the negativity and believes it.

His theory resonates more with me than my limited understanding of the current view of the mind and psyche, but I am beginning to think my right hemisphere (left tongue) is beginning to be able talk back.

Crossing over

 I have trouble getting the left tongue to cross the midline. In reading right to left the eyes are pulled to the right at the beginning of each sentence presumably with the musculature on the left side of each eye relaxing and the right side of each eye contracting. It feels like my right eye does not want to go all the way to the right but stay in the optimal position to see most of the sentence at once. More in the center. It feels like to get it to see the beginning of a right to left sentence I have to make sure I get all the way to the right.

My left tongue does not feel like it has the ability to tell the right tongue to contract without switching to right tongue mode.  I have no awareness of the left tongue in the right mode so I am presuming that the right tongue dictates to the left to put the right tongue in the most advantageous position to create the sounds it needs.

Friday, December 21, 2012

The duality of the mind

Arthur Wigan

He also considered that one hemisphere, usually the left, was generally dominant; but he did not see the two hemispheres as differently constituted. 

He had a very organic view of  insanity basically one hemisphere of the brain was sick. He thought the brain hemispheres could be be interchangeable in case of illness. Reading his book it is almost like the unconscious was the less dominant hemisphere. One reason that his thought fell out of favor was the language center of the brain being in the left hemisphere. I am wondering since I am feeling my left tongue as a separate entity if I am influencing changes in my right cerebral hemisphere. Also if the language centers are largely learned in response to my environment.  I will have to do further reading.

Dr Jill Taylor's site

Her book is a very good read.  She had a stroke in her left hemisphere and watched her dominant hemisphere grow quiet and the feelings she had about the experience.

Neither of the above authors are saying what I am suggesting.

It feels like the left tongue is grabbing more and more space. Today my wife noticed something different with the left side of my face. Surprising to me as I thought things were just on the sensation level.  It feels like I have a left tongue that I had no previous motor sense of independent of the right tongue's dominance. I feel it is developing some independence and I am trying to figure out how to further it. I am writing right to left with the left hand. Reading right to left in the mirror. Focusing on the left side of faces that seem to communicate with both sides equally. Imagining lyrics in my head with the reverse orientation. Trying to use the left tongue in speech and song. It has a strong possibility of being a wild goose chase. However the changes that I feel already seem to extend to the spine. My left lower back is 'quieter" than it has been in years.

Somewhere along the tongue

Sammy imitating Nat

I thought this just a cute video for awhile. Sammy imitates Nat then Nat imitates the caricature of himself better. I have been trying to imitate the sounds using the left tongue. In the video Sammy accentuates the lower jaw and tongue.  In some of the older songs I can hear better what they were imitating. Nat had a very different look and sound over the years.

Some older links

Frim Fram Sauce

Shy Guy

Nature Boy

Sweet Lorraine

Smoke gets in your eyes

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Banality of Goodness (off topic)

The Banality of Goodness

I have listened to this many times. There are times when I laugh at this I get worried about how hard I am laughing. There is something very funny to me about evil having a hard time with the 'normal'.

Disputed claim

I am getting the strong feeling on the left tongue, the left inner cheek, and left under chin  is under tension almost like it is too big for the room I give it.  The right side sometimes feels like it claims to much room. Almost a battle going on. No pain at this point but other times yes. There is also a positive feel like the left side is letting go but also under tension as it tries for more space.

Playing a lot with viewing song words in my head to the left (mirror image) and trying to emphasize the left tongue use in the pronunciation of the words.  There seems to be a few layers with the complexity of words. There is the visualization of the word's letters, the meaning of the word, the sound of the word, and the muscular action of saying the word. They all may be separate things I am playing with and I am not sure I am getting any of them 'left'

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

To the Left Flank

When I use the left mind do I have to perceive things to the left in the future? Swinging a bat I grew up batting righty. Why was that the comfortable side for me? Was it the way I tracked the ball and knew where it should be more than the muscular advantage?

I have been listening to Stardust and saying the words in my mind out to the left. (right to left). I am trying to move my left tongue in coordination with my eyes in my mind. I still have much difficulty getting the left tongue to cross the midline. It feels like I switch back to my right tongue mode if I try to force the issue at all. It feels like the back of the right tongue needs to be pulled back. I think it is set in a position of advantage compared to the left back tongue.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Large and small

I wonder if the tiny muscles of the hyolingual complex took a non-neutral postural position would they be supported in chain by the larger muscles. Once learned would I ever be able to unlearn it?

Speculation On the bit

This is not medical advice. In fact playing with these areas possibly could hurt your self. I am just wondering do I rein myself in anytime I am anxious or nervous.

On the bit

I know nuthin about horses.

The hyolingual complex is connected to the skull by two muscles that remind me of reins the stylohyoid and stlyoglossus.There is a third the stylopharengeous it may be involved in what I feel also

the reins

My sense is that I am tighter on the left when I try to play with where I think these muscles are in my throat and mouth,  When swallowing the hyoid bone elevates to help close the airway.

Never heard of this syndrome before

stylohyoid syndrome

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Hyolinqual complexity

The mammalian tongue cannot be viewed as a 'freestanding' organ, Rather for almost all it's functions it depends on it's linkages with the hyoid apparatus and lower jaw.

I am arguing that I feel much more actually going on. I feel in myself is that I have a dominant tongue, the right side and I actually could not feel the motor commands of the left tongue as independent.  The hyolingual complex with it's relationship to lower jaw, skull, muscularly, fasciaularly, and most of all the neuro motor preference are a major contributor of my right handedness.  I am speculating that I developed that preference in reading the dominance of others mostly how I read their eyes and face as an infant (and mimicked along with their expectations of me) but also including voice and other nonverbal clues. During school, sports, eating etc, that I  developed it further and I learned to anticipate in my mind to the right with the left taking a subordinate position,

I  feel I am now having access to my left tongue and plus the above connections influence how I use the whole left side of my spine, ribs and pelvis. I do not know if I will ever be able to significantly change anything. But my left back and side usually feel 'quieter' than ever before. The left hyolinqual complex is far stronger than I can imagine it would be without being able to feel it before and now having access to it I can't imagine why I did not feel it previously.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Children's voices

Terrible tragedy. I don't have any answers.

Beautiful song by young kids.  (below charts)

Going home

Friday, December 14, 2012

Very little sense

I was surprised this morning I had very little sense of the left tongue upon awakening. I felt great, very relaxed but the feeling of the left tongue was not there. Not being smart enough to leave a good thing alone I had to play with it enough to re-establish the feeling of it.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Reading right to left

I have been reading kids books in the mirror on the idea that it will stimulate the right hemisphere more.  Don't know if it is doing anything. I am reading on 2nd grade level. The printing and the spacing of the the books make them easier to read. Anything much harder I can still read but it becomes agonizing slow as I have to switch the letters in my mind one at a time. It does not feel like reading.

Does reading left to right (normal) train the brain in a certain way? It is an arbitrary direction as other cultures write/read in different directions.  I do not know if trying it is going to accomplish anything but I am going to keep reading in the mirror for awhile yet

My feeling that I have a left tongue is pretty strong this morning, I am finally getting a sense of the surface of the left tongue as it moves. It sort does it's own thing which is disconcerting,  I hope I do not try and say two things at once (tongues in cheek)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Writing with the left hand to the left

I am surprised how easy and natural it feels writing with the left hand to the left. It is not nearly as easy and flowing as the right hand, but it does not feel at all like there is a sense of wrongness.. I started with printing for several weeks. It was easier than I expected. When I started writing script it was moderately difficult. More to imagine the letters than anything else.

Even though I am also writing with 2 hands at the same time hands fairly well. I am not in this gals league. I write the same thing with both hands but in opposite directions. She is doing something much more

Differentiating the Head and Jaw


Below is an exercise I wrote that gave me a glimpse of the left tongue. It is very easy to hurt yourself trying any unfamiliar exercise especially one that has you do weird stuff.  It is probably not going to benefit anyone else. I am concerned that someone once playing with the left tongue may interfere with the usual way that they swallow AND OR HURTING THEIR NECK AND JAW. I REFUSE ANY RESPONSIBILITY IF YOU DO HURT YOURSELF IN ANY FORM 

Differentiating the Head and Jaw
The Bit between our Teeth. The Sissy Bar in our Throat
by TG

My ramblings-Do we have one tongue with two lateral borders or two tongues with a shared medial border?  Does it make any difference in our movements?

Lay on your back. Roll your head side to side. Check if it feels more easy in one direction. Does one direction feels slightly bunched up?  Does your jaw have to move with your head? Can you ask your jaw without your hands to move in the opposite direction of the way your head is moving? Be gentle and small with yourself. Is it easy? Where is the resistance? Let it go and stop.

How thick is your tongue musculature? Let us see. From over your head on the floor begin to slide a imaginary very slippery pane of glass through the top of your skull separating the left from the right exactly in two. It slides easily in starting with the suture on the top of your cranium then down between the forehead separating your brain then splitting the nose and eyes then through the roof of your mouth until it comes to the tongue. Take some time with your imagination. At the tongue the pane runs into difficulty as it pushes down to split the tongue but the tongue gives in like a trampoline then pushes the glass back up. Play with that image. Make sure the pane is trying to split the tongue exactly in two but the tongue is made of a material that gives in but doe not split. Like one of the vibrating tools it split’s the teeth and the hard bone of the jaw easily in front and the vertebrae in back but the tongue being soft accepts the vibration and does not split readily. Can you feel or imagine under your chin what happens as the pane pushes down? Does the tongue musculature push the area under your chin down? Let it push the tongue down and imagine that it protrudes under your chin then springs gently back up. What does the area under your chin and above your vocal cords look like? How big is that area? Keep repeating that image of sliding the pane down getting softly stuck as it hits your tongue as the tongue musculature gives in at first like a rubber band then pushes the glass back up. Take the pane out of the top of your head roll from side to side and rest

Resume with pushing the pane of glass through the top of your head the running into resistance at the tongue as the tongue musculature gives way at first and protrudes under you chin then bounces up. What do the sides of your tongue do? Deliberately try to help with process and roll up the sides of your tongue as the pane pushes down then the tongue sides roll down as the center springs back up. Make it slightly more active almost shooting the pane of glass back out of the top your skull,  repeat several times working with the imagery play with it to you have a good feel Do enough movements that you can feel the tongue helping. Now with a hard push on the pane from the top split the tongue left and right with the pane of glass continuing down your throat in front and vertebrae in back until it rests on the sternum and roughly the beginning of the thoracic spine. Rest a minute.

What is does the internal structure of what we just split? Let us start with an external examination of the right side of our jaw. Starting at the lower teeth in the center by the pane of glass on the right side touch it actively (not your imagination) with the right hand. Trace it down slowly and feel the dimple of your chin to the bone underneath then use the end of your thumb gently  to feel the thickness of  jaw. Trace the underside of the jaw back to the angle of your jaw on the right. Feel up the back of the jaw until it attaches to that place where it connects to the skull by on your right ear canal. Trace the back of your jaw up to the ear and back down to the angle of your jaw several times. Place your fingers gently in front of your ear and grab the back of your jaw. Give a slight pull forward.  Since your head has been separated by a very slippery pane of glass the right side of your head slides forward on the right while the left stays in place on the ground in your imagination. Move your hand to the front of your face and jaw and slide the skull back even with the left side. Repeat this movement several times. The head does not really move but in your minds eye see it sliding forward against the glass. Work with the imagination and start to feel like the internal musculature of jaw and right underside of the tongue are assisting the movement. Bring your right hand down to your side and feel what is going on the inside of your mouth. How can the right under side of tongue  help with the movement?  How about the area under the chin?  Actively use the right side of the tongue from the very back of tongue and push it forward and imagine the whole right side of the head slides forward. Pull the tongue back from the back and jaw and head comes back . Keep repeating. Feel in your imagination the whole thickness of your right side of your tongue sliding back and forth against the glass and after enough movements Rest

Lets do a slightly different play on the left side..  We will us use our imagination a little differently,  Pull the glass pane up and out of your head. Find the angle of both sides of your jaw actively with you hands. Trace up to the joint in front of your ears where the jaw attaches to the skull. Switch to your imagination and detach the jaw from the skull. Wiggle the back of your head in the minds eye giving your self the magical ability to pop it off the atlas and axis of the top vertebrae and lift up the skull and turn it to look down on your tongue with your eyes. The surface of the tongue lies somewhat above the bottom teeth The tongue musculature is thick about the same depth of your jaw with a tiny bone U shaped like a sissy bar at the very back and at the base of your tongue. It gives form along with other structures to the top of your esophagus. It is your hyoid bone and it has muscular attachments to your skull, tongue, vocal cord, sternum and even your shoulder blades. Why should such a small bone have such a wide range of attachments? What does the hole look like leading down into your stomach? If you broke off the stem of a champagne flute could the flute slide nicely into the hole? Go ahead and slide an imaginary flute in there with the top of the flute even with the surface of the tongue. Find the hyoid bone in your minds eye about an inch down from the top surface of the tongue at the very back where it drops down. Now see if you can imagine sliding the hyoid bone from left to right and back around the champagne flute. It may only move a 1 or 2 millimeters. Let the semisoft and hard structures of the front of the neck cooperate with movement. Do enough imaginary movements to where you got a feel that it is moving.

Take the flute out and examine the left tongue’s surface. In your imagination use your right index finger push down on your left  tongue. Start up by the front of the jaw do not worry if it slides off into the crevice on the side of the left tongue. Like the glass pane that we started see if you can feel the tongue relax and the musculature be pushed out on the undersurface of your chin. Take your time and work your way all the way around the left tongue by the teeth first and then make sure you get close to the middle of the tongue working slowly forward and back while you bounce. gently Reattach your skull , Rest

Sit on up. Get comfortable but sit in a fairly symmetric pattern. Slide your head forward and back on your neck gently in the same plane that it is in. Now instead of just forward can you move it in an arc forward and back starting in the middle resting position and then slightly out to the left and back in the middle when the head is forward. You are not turning the head.  It is a relatively small movement. Turn your attention to the underside of the left side of the chin as you do the movement. Echo the movement of the head with the jaw but paying attention to the area between your jaw underside and your throat on the left. Stop with your head and jaw forward. Let the jaw only do the movement back and forward while paying attention to the left underside. So the head stays forward but jaw does the arc. Be easy on yourself. Now let the jaw stay forward while the head makes the arc. Be very easy with yourself. The jaw will move with the heads change in position but will stay stable relative to the head. Lay on your back and rest

Repeat above on your right jaw

(My ramblings-The tongues  have extrinsic muscular connections to the underside of skull and extensive intrinsic and extrinsic muscular connections to the jaw. One pair of muscles almost has a trampoline shape being the floor of the mouth.  The hyoid bone is suspended almost like a block and tackle but with no hard attachments to other bones. Yet we never think about it and are sort of weird if we do. But when we talk swallow or breathe we use the muscular of the jaw tongue and hyoid in very intricate patterns. (not to mention the vocal cords) In fact in the sensory and motor cortex have a great deal more neural connections associated with these structures than the whole of the spine, pelvis, and legs. The first thing in the ER when someone is in trouble medically is to insure a stable airway. What do we do when we are in real or perceived trouble in our lives? Usually we tighten control to some degree to protect our airway. When we say a sports figure choked where are we referring to?)

Lay again on your back Roll your head again to the left and right. Check again whether you can actively have the jaw go in the opposite direction more easily. Hold the jaw stationary (no hands) but let the head roll back vertically to open the mouth more. Bring the head back down and now to open the jaw Slide the jaw left and right with mouth open.  Rest, Now hold the head stationary while having the jaw trace out a circular movement opening and closing as it circles to the right and left. Rest Reverse circular directions of the jaw. Stop and rest. Now have the head circle as the jaw remains stationary.  (Opening the mouth by using the musculature of the posterior neck.)  Rest 

Go very easy and small try to have the head and jaw go in opposite circles at the same time . After a few tries Stop and rest,  Sit up Go back Again to our original movement moving the head and jaw in opposite directions while simply rolling the head left and right. Rest. Come to your feet. Walk and turn your head left and right.

Update I feel it is worth reversing the two imagination portions of the exercise at another time.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Yeah Baby Yeah

The way I feel I use the left tongue to pronounce the "B" sound is difficult for me. I was practicing it while pushing my wife in a wheelchair a couple of weeks ago. It feels like it takes a lengthening and relaxing of the left tongue while softening the left cheek by the left lips. In order to do it efficiently I found myself shifting my pelvis minisculely to the right and lengthening my left torso.  I then started pushing my wife up one of the small hills (incline may be a better word). Usually my left ankle hurts slightly with the effort just below the lateral malleoli. There was a totally different sense of my ankle. It did not hurt and felt strong and functional. We have gone on  many trips since and once in a while I get the same ache but my usual is now the opposite. It feels like it is in the right (should I say "left") place.

Yeah Baby Yeah

Just an additional thought. Playing with the left tongue has come very slowly. A little shoot here, a period of nothing, then a bud with a very small flower but no where equal to what I do with my usual right tongue. It still feels like it is developing.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Your Left Eye

I am very middle aged, portly, too sedentary, loved sports growing up but much more a book nerd. In the last five years or so I realized I do not really see the left side of someone else's face.  I connect right eye to right eye if I am able to meet their gaze at all. Since discovering this I pretty much make it a habit to see the left eye unless I get nervous or anxious. For many people the left eye does not look as expressive or as communicative as their right eye. One good exception imo is Nat in Unforgettable which I previously linked.

In Harlow's experiments he creates autism in monkeys by depriving them of contact with their mother.
It is interesting that the ventral surface needs to relax with contact. (I have a very soft underbelly.) This explains to me the necessity of hugs for everyone.

I wonder if the dolls in the video above could look with one eye and express more affection and communication with that eye and expect more communication back from the monkey child (right eye to right eye) would that tendency create more right handedness. Jumping to humans does school reinforce right handedness with reading and writing to the right.  In a world of lefties I wonder if I would have a increased chance of being autistic after being raised for a year with right handed parents.

Late post script
There are many articles with eye contact and autism. I should probably not try to make my ignorance to easy to see.(but I probably will)


In 10 subjects with an evident chewing-side preference, the BOLD signal change in the primary sensorimotor cortex was significantly greater on the side contralateral to the preferred chewing side. The results suggest that there is a relationship between hemispheric dominance and chewing-side preference in primary sensorimotor cortices responsible for tongue movements. 

I do not think this is what is going on with me. I am feeling muscular control on the left tongue that I never knew. In a sense it never existed. Yet my tongue did not deviate. I could chew, talk, move my tongue side to side and around my mouth but I think somehow the right claimed dominance over the whole tongue. I do not know the mechanism how. I think it is related to speech and how I related and relate to society. It is larger than just the left tongue. It also includes the throat. Pretty wacky idea. It is almost like there is a separate movement image that is silenced. The dominant image seems to orient my spine to prefer the right hand and side. I am not right handed but right tongued. I do not know what is going on inside someone else. I do not think I am alone but to generalize to all others does not feel correct.

They developed a mathematical model that shows the low percentage of lefties is a result of the balance between cooperation and competition in human evolution. 

 Approximately 60% of the subjects showed a strong functional lateralization of the postcentral gyrus toward the left hemisphere for swallowing, whereas 40% showed a similar activation bias for the tongue elevation task. This finding supports the view that the oral sensorimotor cortices within the left and right hemispheres are functionally nonequivalent.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Stardust Melody

I was trying to say the words to this poem/song in my mind with a mirror orientation to the left.  I got to the very end and realized I switched the word melody in my heads vision. Played with it a little bit. When I say Me Lo Dy my right tongue softens and feels like it hollows some on the Lo syllable. My left tongue does not feel like it softens and hollow. I do not know if I am using the left tongue in a differentiated way. I think it should be mirroring the right in a pattern to the left. I could generalize and say that is reflected in my whole left side

just for fun the following link

My Miss-perception

I feel I have two tongues a left and a right. By innervation and structurally there are two set of muscles and nerves. Why did my whole life did I perceive to have one? Is it a miss-perception because of the dominant side? Or am I missing the boat now?

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Stammering with both hands simultaneously

When I type I can use both my hands almost simultaneously. I can now write in script simultaneously if I write with the left hand right to left and the right hand left to right. I pay attention to the left hand and sort of let the right hand do it's thing. If I get a little excited or nervous it breaks down and both sides suffer. It feels like that I switch my attention back to the right or normal way and leave the left stranded and then I try switching back quickly and then I am out of sync. I wonder if that is what stammerers go through with their voice, or in my view their tongues. A confusion of dominance in their minds.

If I try to write both hands left to right I my left script suffers. If I try to write both hands to the left my right hand tends to write the letters on top of each other. I can write either hand in the opposite direction by itself.

But the best results and the most natural feel is for both hands to write away from midline simultaneously when trying with both hands. I wrote a couple of checks the other day with my right dominant hand and I have not had such good handwriting in forty years. Don't know why


I have been listening to Nat often. Sometimes I try to imagine the words in my head right to left while trying to include the left tongue in my awareness. Other times I focus on the left side of his face and reflect the emotions there while trying to use the left tongue to mouth the words. (wife no like my singing. to be fair one time maybe OK endlessly repeating NO). I listen usually with headphones left ear only.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Starting Over

Pulled all the posts on the other blog. I was not sure if I was aspirating playing with the left tongue and if I was I did not want to risk the faint possibility that others might. I was not very active in spreading the word on the other blog I am going to be less so with this one. Also going to be much more apolitical. More of a working diary than anything else. There is always the faint chance that someone may stumble here which is a good thing. It will help keep me somewhat focused and hopefully a tiny bit rational.

I am getting more perception of the left tongue. I think I am finally feeling where the surface of the left tongue is when I use it in speech while trying to use the left tongue.  Been working with reading and writing right to left (mirror image). I think I am actually viewing the mirror written word in my imagination. In a way it feels like I am thinking to the left.