I have been bingeing on cheaply made Chinese dramas. There are a few plots that are repeated over and over with some variations. Some of the most painful emotional experiences I have had are related to infidelity of both my lover at the time and my own botched attempt to cheat during my marriage. Most of the dramas that I am bingeing on are about infidelity of the wife on the husband. It feels easier for me to identify with husband and I try to monitor my own muscular response to the emotions being played out.
Moshe Feldenkrais wrote a book many years agon entitled Body and Mature Behavior. In it there is a diagram of four postures I believe labeled A to D with A being the ideal and D being the opposite. I am in the D- range for my normal activities. Watching the dramas in their confrontational parts I can actively feel the global muscular contractions that are a very normal part of my life. Almost instantaneously I round the shoulders collapse my chest tightened my anterior intercostals and posteriorly rotate my pelvis. In effect rolling up into a ball. There is some degree of this global action always present in the way I go through life. Watching the dramas and playing with the global action I can feel the activity. However, even though there is some control as soon as I divert my attention I revert back to my normal.
