Uncomfortable

I believe I am correct about the left tongue and it's implications on how I learned to see the persona on the right side of others and by mimicking developed the lateralization in my brain related to communication. That being said so what. There has been quite a bit of pain getting to the place where I am and not of the good pain category. More of the stuff that makes me nauseous. It is interesting to feel movement in my head and neck that is somewhat alien but very rarely is it comfortable. When I try to talk with the left tongue dominant it is often slower and I have to keep working relatively hard to make sure I am doing what I think I am doing.

Walking the path

Walked the bike path again today. I have not been there in awhile. As it was Saturday many people were walking, biking and jogging. I am trying to see the persona in the left side of others. My habitual is to see the persona as existing in the right side of other people's head. The left side is usually not seen somehow on the periphery. To make the connection with the left side persona does not feel just to be an passive process. I almost have to imagine that the persona exists in left side of other person coming toward me. At that point often what feels to be a spontaneous smile on my left side is initiated. Many people respond to my left side initiated smile but I am pretty sure they are not seeing a left sided persona in myself on any level. Most people are friendly and see someone with a stupidass grin will provide the courtesy of responding. I am beginning to think that left and right persona is there in everyone but the way I relate to others determines what I see. My habitual has been always to relate to others as right sided even though I thought I saw the person as a whole  It existed so pervasively in me that I could not see it. Even when I began to recognize that I did not really see the left side of others faces I still only saw the persona existing in the right side of others. It takes an active creative process in my mind of seeing the persona in the left side of someone.

Relink

Differentiating the head and jaw

Probably should be entitled "Differentiating the right and left tongue" but at the time all I could feel was the resistance of something not cooperating equally. The tie in to what I see/relate too in other's faces was disconnected to the left head/throat/tongue/face/eye also. It is still not clearly defined for me but a long way from where it was a couple of years ago.

No left here

It seems impossible to me that the small muscles connecting to the hyoid would have such a large effect on my head and neck posture. When I engage the my left musculature I am always surprised at the strength that in my usual mode I cannot feel. I can override the strength completely when I switch back to my normal right side way of doing. Almost like the left side mode doesn't exist.

Lack of influence

Bone Remodeling

Bone remodeling (or bone metabolism) is a lifelong process where mature bone tissue is removed from the skeleton (a process called bone resorption) and new bone tissue is formed (a process called ossification or new bone formation). These processes also control the reshaping or replacement of bone following injuries like fractures but also micro-damage, which occurs during normal activity. Remodeling responds also to functional demands of the mechanical loading.

In the first year of life, almost 100% of the skeleton is replaced. In adults, remodeling proceeds at about 10% per year.^[1]

An imbalance in the regulation of bone remodeling's two sub-processes, bone resorption and bone formation, results in many metabolic bone diseases, such as osteoporosis.^[2]

The bone remodeling process goes on whether I want it to or not. I can influence it by exercising or lack thereof but I cannot direct the osteoclasts or osteoblasts individual activity. They respond to clues in the environment. It is interesting to me that we are always building and destroying bone.

Brain remodeling

Neuroplasticity, also known as brain plasticity, is an umbrella term that encompasses both synaptic plasticity and non-synaptic plasticity—it refers to changes in neural pathways and synapses which are due to changes in behavior, environment and neural processes, as well as changes resulting from bodily injury.^[1] Neuroplasticity has replaced the formerly-held position that the brain is a physiologically static organ, and explores how - and in which ways - the brain changes throughout life.^[2]

Seeing and relating to the left side of peoples face especially connecting with my left eye to their left eye seems to be changing my access to my left head/neck/tongue/throat. A great deal of the process feels to be not under my control similar to the bone remodeling. There may be a degree of influence but I am for a large part unable to control the rate of change.

Productive painful hangovers

Playing with sub-lingual muscles and structures on the left side of mouth and throat. It is a relatively new process in my 50 year plus life. It is still striking to me that I had no access to this area before. There has been a good bit of pain in getting these structures to move. For some reason on the occasional hangover the movements seem particularly painful but productive. I should be old enough to avoid something with the label 'Mountain Juice' but having a glass of wine with dinner prior it then seemed like a good idea at the time.

 Like playing with a sore tooth there is a sense if I get the left side more independent from the right there will be some more pain while experiencing the joys of the hangover. I should leave it alone but the small movements seem particularly accessible and therin lies the rub.  Moving the left tongue and throat structure independent of the right involves the structures of the head and neck. I do not know if my ideas are correct involving the hyoid, skull and spine but once involving the movements of my left sub-lingual  structures there is a corresponding change in sensation of the larger structures. My belief now is that I could not differentiate my left tongue and throat from my right tongue and throat in terms of movement. I think the function of speech and communication and mimicking what I see in others led to the right side dominance with the left side subordinate. I intensely dislike hangovers and I rather be less productive without the pain.