Tongue eye back connection

As my 'left tongue' becomes more defined it also feels like I have gained increased awareness of my whole left side.  It on my first glance does not seem possible and or plausible. However having done the movement awareness thing for awhile there now seems to be a steady constant change of 'improvement on more awareness of my musculature on the left close to the spine.

I am trying to watch TV and in personal encounters to connect to the left eye of the speaker with my left eye and trying at times to respond with the left tongue.  In a way it feels like the spine serves the tongue and eyes.   In my attempt to equalize my tongues there feels to be a reorganization of my back.

The tip of my tongues

Some of the movement exercises I have done in the past played with the tip of my tongue.  I now feel I have two tips a left and a right. They do not feel to be the same. I think I have always used the tip of the right to ascertain position of the tongue. The left tip did not exist as separate in my movement perception There seems to be a connection with the right tip of tongue crossing midline along with my right eye being dominant. Trying to locate the left tip of tongue in my 'left tongue mode' is difficult.  I feel a strong connection with the tip of the left tongue and my left eye as I try to have the left tip cross midline in my 'left tongue mode'.

Interesting feeling

It is not just the left tongue but how I use the left eye, face, lips, tongue, and throat. I am right side dominant and left side subservient . Feeling the left side of my head as 'independent' is a strange but interesting feeling.

There is a gap in my explanation or something I unable to articulate at this time. If I go back into my normal mode I can still access the left side of my face but when I switch back to the 'left mode' I actually have less control. It feels more 'left' but like the tongue more spastic almost bound down moving against resistance.

I think it is tied to communication and the muscular habits that developed with facial expression is the only half assed explanation I can come up with at this point.

Sounds pretty wacky

Holding my hand

If I  grab my right wrist with my left hand and try to write something I relax the musculature of the left arm and shoulder  (excluding the finger flexors) almost reflexively. If I grab the left wrist with the right hand and try to write I still engage the musculature of the right arm in an effort to help the left hand to write. It is more efficient to disengage the right shoulder musculature but that is not my tendency.

I believe my left tongue has been disengaged most of my life in learning to speak. I can use the musculature of the left tongue in a different context to move food, swallow, and touch the teeth on my left all the way to the back but I think it assists the right in getting there.

I now experience the left tongue as a separate structure that can move on it's own. I would have assumed that it would have no real influence on my posture of the neck and head but it feels to have a tremendous input. Form following function

Why?

Why do I keep on posting about this? It does not seem possible for it to go anywhere. I do not seem to have the ability to present it in a way that attracts other people to consider it.   At this time I have no plans to return to working with patients in rehab. Going back to school and advancing the idea through academics does not seem plausible. There is a serious possibility that I am using it for an avoidance technique instead of moving on with my life.  I am not making any allies, probably making more people in my small circle of  acquaintances uncomfortable with me.

I am not sure why. I think it is a more correct view. I do not want to say 'right' as that almost seems to be the problem. It feels that I am 'right' when I am in the 'right tongue mode'. The 'left tongue mode' almost seems to demand the feeling that I am 'left'.

I believe it would benefit others if I am more 'left' in certain specific situations. I think it could have applications in stroke , brain injury , idiopathic scoliosis, common back and neck pain. It also may have contributions on a much more general level. But that is not the 'why'.

In a sense am I just being a stubborn ass? Like a man clinging to a life ring in 3 feet deep water.  I really need it "I do, I do!"  Very few things are going well for me. My ego is wrapped up in it. What has my life amounted too. Not very much but if I put forward and idea that is a radical change on how we view ourselves that is correct it would be a tremendous self validation.

Is that the 'why' I don't know. Some of it to be certain.

(After doing the 20 minute ponder in the shower) There is a sense I need it to be 'whole'.

Left and Right Tongue Images

I think the image that I had one tongue is wrong. How could I go through my whole life and not know I had a 'left tongue'? I could feel the left side of the tongue in the 'normal right tongue mode' and use it normally. However this is different. There is a conscious control and picture of the left tongue that is developing. Even though it pertains to the left side of the tongue it is not the left side of the tongue. It is the 'left tongue' and it is has only a very hazy picture of the right side of the 'left tongue'. The left side of the left tongue is not complete either but the image of it is different than 6 months ago. A sense that it is wider and the surface of the left tongue is becoming clearer. The musculature under the surface of the tongue is becoming easier to access and play with though the control is still very poor. I know what I want it to do but unable to pull it off

Logical inconsistency

Just eating a egg sandwich in my normal 'right tongue mode'. I use both sides of the tongue to move the food around without difficulty. So how could I have a 'left tongue'?

I do not know. But when I switch to the 'left tongue mode' the whole of my left tongue, jaw, face and throat a different feel emerges. How little I understand how to move it.  Switching back to the 'right tongue mode' and I can whip the tongue around without any problem. The 'left tongue mode' feels like there is much strength and muscle there but tremendous resistance and very little control. There is a strong tie in to the cervical spine and how the skull is seated. Switching back to the 'right tongue mode' and it all disappears and I am left with the usual sense of myself.